So.. I’m back, and yes I do indeed have a grin like the cats caught the cream. You know when you treat something like a fling.. But you know you want something else but there’s some distance between the two of you until you move? It does suck.. The past few days have been perfect and laying in bed with ‘Monday’ I’d want the world in the room and not have to move, I’d have happily stayed there if it wasn’t for us wanting to explore. It just felt right, I can’t really explain it past that and no words will, it just did. 
Sure, there’s an age difference and my Father would kill me and give me a talking too.. To tell you the truth.. I wouldn’t care, before I did but not for myself but to protect ‘Monday’ from my Dad, being Scottish he’s mental.. But now.. I’d tell him to stuff his opinion where the sun doesn’t shine.
In the past couple of days we stayed in Inbhir Losaidh (Lossie Mouth) and we visited Am Broch (Burghead, Inbhir Èireann (Findhorn), Farrais (Forres) and Cinn Lois (Kinloss) briefly..
We were going to try and find the Pillbox, a WWII defense where the gunners would shoot from in Inbhir Losaidh, we never found it but got close to the woodland it’s hidden in but the snow storm was creeping up to us, naturally.. We bailed. We walked a good 2 miles there and back and I’m quite ill at the moment so this tired me out. We explored the beach and the dunes toward the woodland and found random things that had been dumped like a fridge, car wheels, boxes, fishing creels etc. A romantic walk on the beach with a snow storm. I’d mock but it was perfect and I mean that. I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling (and hacking and coughing) and then we saw a guy attempting to surf.. He didn’t do too well but I’ll give him kudos for doing it in December, stupid or gutsy? You decide.
We visited Roseisle Beach which is on the coast inbetween Am Broch and Inbhir Èireann. As we never got to the pillbox in Inbhir Losaidh, which I will do one day, we went to Roseisle beach as I knew there were a few on that beach. (See them Here, pictures are a few years old, I’ll be uploading some of my own later.) and ‘Monday’ loved them, obviously being into WWII I adored them, we sat in one and admired the view a gunman would see and I thought it wouldn’t be too bad being a gunman.. Then after getting a numb bum decided that actually.. It’d suck a little. Beautiful place.
We then went to Am Broch in search of food.. There was a pub and we feared it would be full of inbreeds with webbed feet (The place is tiny) so we went to Cinn Lois in search of food and the beautiful Scottish pub with a log roasting fire doesn’t do food during the week which is a great shame as it was a truly beautiful place and RAF Kinloss is there and OMG that base is fucking huge oO, you can go plane spotting if you want to which I think I will do one day also, so we went to Farrais and found a really nice restaurant where we discussed famous events in our life times such as 9/11, The Dunblane Massacre, The Yorkshire Ripper and other infamous events like Myra Hindly and Ian Brady, Ian Huntley and of course, Zodiac. An amazing meal and any man that can discuss anything like this over food with me = a winner.
We then ventured to Inbhir Èireann and went to the beach for 5 minutes then bailed, it was far too windy. Beautiful place but too much wind! Then I got driven home where we hugged for a bit then he had to head off back home.. The past couple of days, hand on heart, were the happiest and best I’ve had and dare I say it, in my life, so yeah.. I’m a little blue that he’s gone. I’m so planning a trip to his end as soon as a I can.. I dunno what else to add to this other than he’s been gone for 2 hours and I miss him already.
I miss waking up and having him hugging into me and kissing my back and neck, then my lips. I miss him stroking my skin and holding me. *sighs*
Posted in My thoughts | No Comments »
Posted on 1 January '10 by sazza, under My thoughts. No Comments.
So… I can definitely do a shoot in Edinburgh to create a portfolio. The guy for Aberdeen has not spoken to me in days and as I don’t trust anyone I’m beginning to think he’s disappeared and is no longer interested or is fucking me around… A guy who wanted to shoot me for Edinburgh forgot to contact me and asked why I never shown up.. Gee helps if you give me a time to meet you and where to meet you. It’s called common courtesy. I’ll be annoyed if the photographer from Aberdeen fucks me about. But I have an offer from two other locals.
One from Aberdeen (travel paid and photoshoot paid) and a guy from Wick who will meet me in Inverness 
I will update with more news/rant.
Maybe I over think these things but I think everyone is going to dump me and find someone else, self esteem is annoying.
Posted in My thoughts | No Comments »
Posted on 15 September '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. No Comments.
I’m helping Blue out by running him a forum, I think he also wants an actual website which we can advertise which will direct people to the forum. It’s about Music and the Media. I’m just wondering how am I going to help them get local bands and stuff? Is it worth contacting a few school mates who have bands? I’ve told his team to sign up but they’re being very slow and it’s pissing me off knowing how much work/effort/time I’m putting into it and they’re going slowly… Gah! People sometimes drive me crazy.
I actually know of a nice band from here called Cryptic Hate, heard a few of their songs and they play live at Gigs… Should I approach my mate the drummer and get pictures done, get an article written? I don’t mind taking pictures but am I fuck writing an article, that’s some chick called Ashley’s job (I’ve spoken to her a few times, seems nice enough)..
Should I also kick their arses and go “Look, it’s up and ready, pull the fingers out and write your things out already, tell your friends about it to get them to join!” Or would that be too bosy? I don’t know how to approach them. Good thing about the internet is that you are ten times harder? Haha.
http://musicpm.darkbb.com/
Posted in My thoughts | 1 Comment »
Posted on 17 August '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. 1 Comment.
I need sex, which really is that simple lol. But normally wanting sex this bad I’d phone a mate but can’t, I won’t cheat… Power shower/toys are O.K but I miss the real thing… I think I miss the intimacy more.
I think I just want a kiss more than anythi… No… A hug. Like a really big hug or cuddling on the sofa watching star trek…
*sighs* Damn you living in England!
I am not human by the way, I’m half Zombie? haha
Posted in My thoughts | No Comments »
Posted on 15 August '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. No Comments.
OK, so here are the photos I will be entering into the Buckie Photography Contest
Information about the contest can be found here
Posted in My thoughts | 9 Comments »
Posted on 8 August '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. 9 Comments.
My friend Michael (Mikkal) PMed me over Bebo telling me about a local photography competition in a town I used to live in, Buckie. The rules are simple and straight forward. The pictures have to be in Buckie, they can be old pictures that you have taken in the past but no older than pictures taken in 2000, they must be 8inches by 10inches and mounted on 10inches by 12inches. All pictures entered into the competition are £2 each and you must fill in an application form. That’s it
I went around Buckie but decided to keep with the fishing heritage theme as Buckie was and still is known for that. There used to be 3 working harbours and now there is only one which is full of life and still busy to this day. There are often ships from around the world in the harbour. I went down the harbour and got the boats, light house and fishermen. They were very friendly and I explained it was for a competition and they were more than happy for me to snap away with my camera. I loved it actually everyone was friendly and I assumed they knew each other. Ronnie (The older gentleman) told me “We’re fishing, you don’t have to know anyone but they will all talk to you. I remember fishing once and a Canadian family started chatting to me it was lovely Shame people aren’t like this any more. ” I agree with him, it is a shame that we can’t chat to our neighbours without them being suspicious (where I live they would be) unless you actually know them. I live in flats and there are 5 or 6 blocks attached to each other side by side and around 70odd houses/flats in this small area. I know 4 of my neighbours so I agree with Ronnie it is a great shame. He also told me he worked at all 3 harbours, one of them is a wreck and disused now, but I’ll bet back 20 maybe 30 years ago it was bustling. Lots of history in Buckie. Nice to meet such open people, it was refreshing.
There was a brother and sister with their father and I am going to send him prints of his kids fishing, he had a big grin when I told him that. His daughter was lovely and talkative
It was a successful day and I am very happy with the pictures I took, but also slightly saddening that we rarely talk to one another now. It felt strange at first but the fishermen made me feel very welcome, even though I was out of place in my pink leopard jeans and black jumper and ankh necklace but they didn’t care hat I wore, they spoke to me as a person without judging me and that was wonderful
Pictures I have taken for the competition are here, these will be the ones I will submit
http://mayogaelz.deviantart.com/art/the-doctor-10th-131805321
Posted in My thoughts | 1 Comment »
Posted on 2 August '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. 1 Comment.
Originally posted here – http://www.bebo.com/BlogView.jsp?MemberId=15572472&BlogId=9608706338
I don’t think they are very safe. I am doing some research and may post this somewhere else other than Bebo obviously.
I joined eswing or something to see (1) how genuine they are (2) who you are actually talking too (3) how safe do you feel?
(1) I don’t know if any of the people on the website are genuine. Some guy I had never spoken to before offered me a train fare to England and to pay for a hotel over night, this made me feel whore-like. Now I may like older men but this guy creeped me out, I don’t know who he is and I don’t know what he plans on doing to me, for all I know he could be a rapist which seems a bit far fetched but hey, it could be true. Another guy (SexySandman) wouldn’t stop messaging me saying he wanted to spend one night with me and do dirty things and I should go to Glasgow, then decided I HAVE to go to Glasgow. I told him I’m not that kind of girl and I am doing research… He quickly changed his tune. One guy was horrible and just wanted to talk about what he’d do to me… Yeah… If I wanted that I’d wear a slutty outfit and go clubbing.
(2) Some of the women on the website could be men posing as women, it actually does happen. I have no idea who I am talking too most of the time. There is a teacher I spoke to over YIM but we discussed religion, sciences, history etc etc, he’s a nice person. He wanted to make friends. Bizarre website to do it on if you ask me, he is the only person I am sure is real (I’ve seen him on cam, not doing anything dodgy mind you just sitting there chatting to me). Some guys claim to be early twenties, how do I know this is their real age without meeting them in real life? They could be 50 for all I know…
(3) I felt VERY uncomfortable talking to anyone, as I said this is purely research. I put a picture of my face and my tattoos and that is it. Guys where giving me their mobile numbers, addresses and expecting the same back. Not very secure, just about anyone could text/phone/turn up at your house/work place. I felt very un-safe and some people have had nice experiences from the website where things have gone right… BUT you could meet said person from said website in a public place but people can put on appearances and could become totally different and beat you when you met each other… I’m not condemning sex websites but I’m not going out my way to recommend them either. I met some really egotistical people, and very very arrogant and selfish who didn’t care for the person, just that “any hole’s a goal”… Depends where it has been matey.
I can understand to an extent why people would use them… But really I would recommend a dating website or going outside and not sitting at a computer desk all day OR in desperation go pull a random stranger at a pub/club and have a one night stand OR find a street corner. Meeting real people is far more rewarding. But personally I don’t see the point anyway, sex is only good in a relationship where you are really comfortable with who you are with, it’s more intimate, rewarding, you can feel totally comfortable with your “flaws” with your loved one, they will not judge you and more fulfilling… Can’t get that on a sex site can you? I’m just an old romantic at heart really so this thing is not for me… At all.
Thoughts?
Posted in My thoughts | 5 Comments »
Posted on 25 July '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. 5 Comments.
I’m testing to see if this works really. But whilst I am posting, why are the Police driving through the communal grounds of the flats? Surely the wise idea would be getting out the car instead of driving on broken bikes, smashed glass bottles, rubbish etc etc? No? fuck it we’ll be spaz’s and drive over the sharp shit.
Oh! The new bridge is open now! They closed the old bridge just behind the flats as it was a single lane so there were a lot of traffic jams and stuff, the got rid of it and made a more modern, safer, two laned bridge. I might sleep at night now as I can hear the cars and truckers again
I do like cops but sometimes even they make stupid decisions, nice to see they are human tho.
Posted in My thoughts | No Comments »
Posted on 25 July '09 by sazza, under My thoughts. No Comments.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since.
sazza